Nineteen eighty something.

As I was sitting next to my 3 year old daughter last night, I watched how she skillfully maneuvered her way through all the apps on my phone to find her game. I have trouble finding the app I need and here she is just flying through them.

When i was her age, the year was 1982. Average monthly rent was $320.00, gas was .91cents, a sony 19 inch color tv was $499 and the biggest selling album of all time, Thriller, came out by Michael Jackson. Comparing life for 3 year old me vs 3 year old her is apples to oranges. Cell phone, what’s that? Google? Ours was called the Britannica Encyclopedia. The only app people heard of was applications for a job. Our games where played on a flimsy piece of cardboard while hers is on a 6 by 3 inch phone.

The other day I noticed a book mobile in one of the parking lots. Kids going in and out, with or without a book in hand. Growing up, I visited the book mobile a few times. It parked right outside our apartment building. Now when i say i visited the book mobile, it wasn’t for books. It was to delay the whoopin or what not that i had waiting for me. lol

I laugh because as soon as we walk through the door, my daughter kicks off her shoes and goes looking for the remote like it owes her money. Once she finds it, shes like a damn cable technician, flipping through the channels with ease. The only time i could find the remote growing up was by looking in the mirror. At the time, you had to change the channels with the dial. And god forbid you only had bunny ears cause then you were the remote AND the antenna.

I always wondered why kids of today can’t pass their classes. The information they need is at their finger tips. It’s not like they have to a library and look through the Index to find a book that may or may not have the information you need ripped out of the damn book.

It’s crazy how there are about 2 generations that have no idea how to make a book cover or a paper Fortune Teller. The other thing I find crazy is how these kids need a safe space, or can’t watch or talk about certain events because they might get “triggered”. Really? We watched a damn space shuttle blow up, live on tv. We didn’t get a safe space. We got ready for lunch lol. We were taught how to hid under our desk to shield us from broken flying glass in the event of a bomb being dropped by our friends in the USSR. Now they’re taught how to shield themselves from an active shooter. Kinda fucked up huh.

I’ll write more later, I’m off to bed.

Kyle Rittenhouse doing what the National Guard didn’t.

I want to start this off by saying out hilarious it is that certain people are calling Kyle and the Judge racist. That’s the ignorance that we are seeing being played across the county. How in the holy hell can a white person shoot three white people and be called a racist?

This case has nothing to do with those 3 people getting shot. Stevie Wonder himself could see Kyle was getting attacked before shooting them. This is about gun control and our right to defend ourselves with deadly force. Some have asked “why was he there? If he stayed home, this wouldn’t have happened” So you want to question why this kid was out there trying to render aid and help protect businesses? Well, because our National Guard wasn’t.

Timothy Simpkins, a High School senior is charged with three counts of aggravated assault with a deadly weapon. He got pissed after an argument with another student, and shot 4 people. Where’s the national coverage on that? Perhaps it’s due to Timothy being black. Anyways, let’s get back to the racist white kid who shot three white people.

If you put your arm in a lion’s cage and then claim victim when the lion eats it for lunch, then you’re a dumbass. If you play with fire, one would assume that you could get burned, correct? So why the fk are you going to try to attack someone who is walking around with an AR-15?

Kenosha has put the National Guard on notice. Why? Because we raised a generation of spoiled bitches that can’t accept the outcome if it goes against what they think. You’re really going to riot because Kyle killed a convicted child molester who tried to attack him? You’re really going to riot when one of the “victims” said under oath that Kyle only shot him after he pointed his gun at Kyle? Here’s something that will blow your mind, what if they riot just because they are spoiled bitches who know the democratic ran cities wont do shit to them?

If Kyle is found guilty tomorrow (11/15/21) it’s not because he killed 2 people in self defense. It’s because the United States has become one giant pussy that would rather see an innocent person go to prison than to upset the left.

2010 Stanley Cup, the year of sexual assault.

As a life long Blackhawks fan, the joy of watching Jonathan Toews lift the Stanley Cup above his head for the first time since 1961 was awesome. Being able to celebrate with my dad and grandfather gave me lasting memories I’ll never forget. Watching the parade, watching the banner being lifted the next season, going to the Blackhawks Convention, again, memories.

Now, 11 years later, we find out that those awesome memories and celebrations we had, weren’t so great for John Doe, who later turned out to be Kyle Beach. Beach had complained to team leaders back in 2010 that video coach Brad Aldrich sexually assaulted him. Aldrich invited Beach to his apartment for dinner. It was during this time that he sexually assaulted Beach, threating Beach with his place on the team and ruining his hockey career if he didn’t comply.

Beach went to skills coach and team counselor, Jim Gary, confiding in him what had happened. Gary then went to upper management  President John McDonough, Executive Vice President Jay Blunk, Assistant General Manager Kevin Cheveldayoff and head coach Joel Quenneville.

What’s more important, a Cup or handling a sexual assault on a player who is not a team regular. Well, the organization thought the Cup was more important as they swept the allegations under the rug. They allowed Aldrich to continue on the team, get a Stanley Cup ring, celebrate with the team in the parade, all while Beach had to watch the guy who assaulted him, celebrate as if nothing happened.

During the off season, Aldrich was offered the choice of undergoing an investigation into the act, or resign. Of course, Aldrich resigned. Not only was he able to resign, he also received a severance package. Aldrich then went on to Houghton in Michigan. While there, he sexually assaulted a 16 year old member of the hockey team. Aldrich was investigation and was arrested and plead guilty. Once Beach heard about the arrest and what happened, he knew it was time to speak up again.

The Hawks finally did an investigation into the incident and it was found that Beach was telling the truth and upper management failed him. Coach Quenneville, now a coach in Florida, resigned from coaching yesterday. Kevin Cheveldayoff was found to not have knowledge of the incident, or rather not enough to hold him accountable. Stan Bowman was relieved of his duties as general manager.

The Hawks team that brought joy to millions of fans in 2010, has the fans pissed and embarrassed in 2021. Did Toews know? Did Kane? Apparently, there were jokes toward Beach in the locker room about Aldrich being his “boyfriend”. Owner Wirtz has asked the NHL to erase Aldrichs name from the 2010 cup. But, is that enough? Should the NHL strip the Stanley Cup win from the Hawks altogether?

As I’ve stated, I’m a life long Hawks fan. I believe the Hawks fucked up. I believe that they owe Beach a huge payout and an apology on national tv before a home game. If Toews knew about it, like many said he did, do you take away the “C” from someone who was just 22 years old at the time?

I don’t know the answer to any of this. I just know the Hawks organization has a reputation and respect that they have to earn back.

Bobby your dad is here

Back in the 80s I was a young buck in elementary school. I went to a catholic school called JFK and like most catholic schools, it sucked.

Now I’m not going to say I was a terrible student, but I wasn’t the best either. I was hit in the hand with a ruler just once by our Nun, but once was all i needed. School in the 80s were different times. Your parents couldn’t just hop on a computer and see your grades on a portal. Teachers couldn’t email or text your parent about your behaviors or being tardy. Hell, the only way they could get in touch with you or your parents was to call the home phone. Hopefully you were lucky enough to get the phone before they did.

Every night my mom would ask me if I had homework. Nope, no homework today. Really, who wants to do homework or study when you could turn on WGN and watch the Cubs with your dad? We weren’t allowed to do anything when we got home except do homework. Again, for some strange reason, I never had homework.. well, at least i didn’t bring it home. So as I’m sitting watching the Wonder Years, staring at my crush Winnie Cooper, in the back of my young mind all I could think of is the homework that wasn’t at home.

Let’s fast forward to parent teacher conferences. While my dad and mom were talking to my teachers, i was at home waiting to hear the deathly sound of the door unlocking, knowing the ass whoopin that was about to come. And come that ass whoopin sure did. Not only did I get acquainted with my dads belt, foot, hand, Nintendo (yes he got me with a Nintendo lol) but i was also blessed by his presences in school.

“Bobby your dad is here” is what i heard as I was coming out of the cafeteria. And wouldn’t you know it, there was my old man, standing in the doorway at the top of the steps. Now for you young kids, parents were allowed to be in the school to handle their kids in the 80s. We didn’t have a “safe space” like you snowflakes have now. Our “safe space” was close to a friend so when your parent wacked you, they would hit your friend by accident too.

My dad sat next to me in class. You’d think that teacher could recognize the SOS i was coding with the blink of my eyes. Nope, this is the 80s, the teachers taught and parents were parents. Anyways, it came time to turn in our homework. I could say that my dog ate it, but my dad would be there to say we don’t have a fucking dog Bob Jr. So as i frantically look through my desk ( the top lifted up to a 90 degree angle) looking for a paper I knew damn well wasn’t in there, my dads lips began to tighten, as he started to bite his lower lip.

Some of you grew up with your parents death stare, I grew up with tight lips lol. My dad turned my desk top from 90 degrees to 180 degrees lol. It was then I turned into Ralphie from A Christmas Story “oooh fuuuucck”. My dad looked at me, and said “we’ll talk when you get home”. lol The only talking was him saying “move your hands, Bob Jr move your hands” The belt hits different when your hand is involved. I wish I could say i learned my lesson that day, nope, my dad was by my side in class a few times.

Now some today would say that’s child abuse. No, that was the 80s. What i learned, or rather understood later in life is that him sitting next to me all those times and giving me those ass whoopins was because he wanted me to do better because he knew I could do better. And what’s better than tough love?

Yes, he really did hit me with a Nintendo lol

Live and let die

I would say for those of us 35 and older, we knew of Dr Kevorkian. For those That don’t know him, he was a Doctor who assisted people with their suicides. The government didn’t care much for him because at the time it was against the law to assist someone with killing themselves.

I never really understood that. If you’re going to commit suicide, it’s gonna happen. What does it matter if a professional doctor administers chemicals into your body they will let you pass peacefully? Why does the government or anyone for that matter get to say how you go? 

When I think about this I think about the same lines of abortion. There are some people that want it banned. You’re not gonna ban abortion, you’re going to ban the safe way of getting an abortion. I mean we’re not getting rid of wire hangers or bleach anytime soon.

So what is it about allowing someone to pass on their own terms? If they are of sound mind, then why not? No I’m not saying somebody doing it right after they find out their spouse cheated or their child passed or whatever. I’m talking about somebody who is physically or mentally ill who just does not want to continue living that way.

I remember telling my dad that’s if it wasn’t for my daughter, I would probably take the Kurt Cobain route. Am I sad? No. Am I in pain? Yes. But again that’s out of the question because of the love for my daughter. I just think that if someone is in pain or if they have an uncurable disease, then they should be able to end that when they want. And they should be able to do it on their terms, peacefully. Because weather it’s chemicals shot into your veins, or a rope around your neck. You’re going to get the same outcome.

Let’s take a shot or two.

No, I’m not talking about liquor. I’m talking about that wonderful vaccine that is being pushed upon us. I had covid last year around Thanksgiving. Of course, the one holiday where you want to taste everything on your plate, i had no taste or smell. For those that haven’t had it, losing your smell and taste if freaking crazy, you literally have it one day, wake up the next and nothing.

After I had Covid, the vaccine was being talked about. I said how the hell can you come up with a vaccine that damn quick? We have HIV for 40 years and no true medical breakthroughs to help stop or get rid of it. But in less than a year, you expect me to believe they have a vaccine?

Well, the vaccine came out and its two shots and your protected. Yeah, still not getting it. My thoughts were since I already had covid, shouldn’t my antibodies protect me from getting it again? I saw a few people who got the vaccine end up in the hospital, have crazy side effects, or ended up dying. Yeah, I really want that shit.

Then we have this goofy ass President who said we shouldn’t trust the vaccine until it is approved while running (or staying in his basement) for President. To now making it mandatory to have for businesses and the military. Who’s not part of that mandatory shot… Biden’s administration. Yeah, makes sense.

Speaking of goofy ass’s is our worthless piece of shit Governor, Pritzker. He mandated that medical and healthcare employees must get the shot. Wouldn’t you know it, I work in healthcare. Now I kept saying I wasn’t going to get the shot, for the simple fact that the government was telling me i have to get it. Anyways, I ended up getting the Johnson and Johnson shot only because I thought about my 2 year old daughter and that I need to keep this job. It kinda felt like the anthrax shots I got in the service.

P1-You’re not vaccinated, what about my safety?? P2-Wait, aren’t you vaccinated already? P1-Well yeah but now they say I can still carry covid and spread it to others. P2-Really? So the vaccine doesn’t work? P1-Yeah it works! P2-But you can still get it and spread it? P1-You’re being racist!!! P2-oook.

Folks, if you don’t want the shot, don’t get the shot. Simple. Our government and this administration is for shit. JsSayin

“What Do You Get When You Cross a Mentally Ill Loner with a Society Who Abandons Him ..?”

“You get what you fucking deserve”- Joker

When I hear this dialog in the movie Joker, it totally makes sense. I think about those who are mentally ill that can’t get the help they need. Then, when they snap and kill themselves or others, people question what could have been done to stop this person. Well, for starters, better mental health facilities with qualified staff would work.

From my personal experience, the VA comes to mind. You have staff there that has not dealt with or been trained to handle people with PTSD or mental illness. Of course you have a few psychologist or therapist that understand it, but even then you are pushed out into the civil sector with people who have no life experiences or can’t relate to the patient. All they have is a piece of paper or two hanging in a frame on the wall showing that they can write a thesis.

Around the later part of 2000, as Security Forces, I was in a foxhole with another SF member on our post. Like most SF members do when guarding something, you do “one up, one down” which basically means one person sleeps while the other stays awake. Of course this is frowned upon, but when you are working 12 hours shifts in the dark, it tends to happen. Anyways, one night it was my partners turn to stay up while I slept. Well, I woke up to something tapping the back of my head. When I opened my eyes, my partner was staring at me wide eyed. Then I hear “Airman Gonzales, you are fkn dead.” The staff sergeant took my loaded m16 and stuck it to the back of my head. That was the tapping that woke me up. My stupid mfkn partner fell asleep after me and could have gotten us killed. From that day forward, I do not like when people are behind me. Someone from my civilian job once came up behind me and flicked the back of my neck. Mind you I already told my coworkers not to come up behind me, yet this dumb shit thought it would be a good idea. Well, I turned around, made a fist and told him that if he ever did that again that I would fkn kill him. His smile didn’t last long when he noticed I wasn’t playing. Now of course I wasn’t really going to kill him, but I really would have jaw jacked him if I didn’t think before I acted.

The VA set me up with a therapist on the outside and it didn’t go so well. When the person says “well Robert, you know you should have probably stayed awake” it doesn’t sit well with me. No shit sherlock, I’m glad you studied a college text book to tell me that. This is why the VA needs to attract more healthcare veterans to work at the VA. You want to be able to talk to someone who possibly had the same or similar experiences as yourself.

At least the VA pays for my sessions. Honestly, I saw what they charged the VA and couldn’t believe it. How can someone who is mentally ill and homeless or living paycheck to paycheck be expected to pay these crazy amounts? Of course you may have health insurance, but you are only allotted so many times per year. You see someone for 12 sessions because that’s is all you are allowed, but a 13th session could have been the session that prevented you from killing yourself that night.

The system is not set up to help you, it is set up to help itself. When you are denied being seen by a mental health professional because you are homeless, have no insurance, no money, no means of payment, well …you get what you fucking deserve.

Happy Meal

Before I picked up my daughter from her moms house, I decided to go to the McDonald’s drive through and get her some nuggets and fries. My daughter is 16 months old and like any kid her age, is very picky.

Anyways I figured I’d just get myself the nuggets and fries and give her a few of mine. As I’m looking at the menu, I see they still have the happy meals. I say “still” because I know the fun police is trying to stop anything that may lead to obesity because of a toy in a bag. Stupid I know.

So i grab the happy meal and start to think of all the times my parents bought me and my sister one. If I had to lift a finger on one hand as to how many times, I’d still be making a fist. I honestly can not remember us ever getting happy meals. That’s besides the point i guess.

So I get my daughter, strap her in her car seat and we start our way back to my apartment. I look in the rear view mirror and see her little face staring out of the window. I reach in my bag and grab a fry to give to her. I reach back and i can see her little hand move up to grab it.

It’s like watching a fighter jet refuel while still in the air. The pilot must be thinking “steady…steady..”. Well that’s how it felt. I’m trying to make sure her little hand has a hold of this golden fry. With a little bit of movement, we have success.

Back to the happy meal. So we get home and i put her in her high chair, grab her the chocolate milk, the nuggets and the fries. She goes straight for the fries, which I don’t blame her…it was a good batch today. But then I pulled out the toy. The look on her face was as if she witnessed King Arthur pull Excalibur from the stone. Her face lit up with a smile and she started clapping. I pulled the Minions toy out of the plastic and handed it to her. Sure, I could have waited to give it to her, but why?

For those that don’t know me, I have always wanted kids. I didn’t get blessed with one until I was 39, so it was kind of a late start. As my friends are getting excited for their kids high school or even college graduation, I am getting excited about a happy meal.

Will she remember this happy meal? Of course not. And to be honest, I probably wont either. But right now at this moment in time, a small box with golden arches and a toy put a smile on both of our faces.

Joker

First off, if Joaquin Phoenix doesn’t win an Oscar for his role, then something is wrong with the academy.

Like a majority of people, I  felt that Heath Ledger was the ultimate portrayal of the Joker.  In some respects, he still is.  Heath’s Joker worked will in Nolan’s Batman universe. Nolan’s Joker was grittier than what we were used to with Nicholson and Romero.  As gritty as it was, it was still based in a fantasy universe.  Would Heath still have won an Oscar for his role if he was still alive?  I don’t believe so.

Then we have the train wreck of Jared Leto’s Joker. Going from Heath’s Joker to Leto’s is like going from soda to water.  Yeah they’re both wet, but that’s the only thing they have in common. We can’t really blame Leto for his take on the Joker, that blame goes to Warner Brothers for allowing it.  It’s ok to revision the look of Joker, but Warner Bros. went to the extreme.

Now we have Phoenix’s Joker.  The reason I feel this Joker works so well and is better than Heath’s is because the character can end up being any of us. His mental illness/disorder was true to life. Watching him transform after his medication was cut off, shows how millions of people have to deal with an illness when insurance companies wont cover the meds or how pharmaceutical companies want to over charge.  Watching him contemplate suicide and then killing Murray reminded me of when i go to the VA and they ask “do you want to hurt yourself or hurt someone else?”.  My answer is no, i don’t want to hurt myself, yes i want to hurt someone else.  Just to be clear, im not talking about killing anyway lol just want to beat someones ass sometimes.  Being delusional about his neighbor was so well done, I can only compare it to the Sixth Sense.  You feel sorry for him and then see him find a love who accepts him, only to find out that it was all in his head.

There are a few scenes that I want to talk about.  First is the dancing on the steps.  Who ever thought of using Gary Glitter is awesome. Sure the guy is a pedo, but this song matches so perfectly being set in the 80s.  And for those complaining about it being used, every stadium in the US plays this damn song.  Second is the killing of Mur-ray.  Loved how he called him that. As Joker was getting upset, you could feel the realness as he raised his voice.

“This movie shouldn’t be shown, it will trigger people”  Yes, let’s ban a movie because it might trigger someone. If that’s the case, just shut down theaters now because someone will get triggered by something sometime or another.  I think what it does is open peoples eyes that mental illness is real and that we need to find help for those suffering from it.

“This movie is too dark.  I had to leave with my kids.”  First off, why would you take your kids to see a rated “R” movie? That’s your own dumb ass fault. Second, “You get what you fucking deserve!”

 

Best 4th of July

It’s been a while since i’ve last posted on here, but i figured today would be the best time.  In prior blogs i’ve talked about how my dad had memories of the Blackhawks with my grandpa and how I have memories of my dad. From going to the Blackhawks game at the old Chicago Stadium, to him bringing me Garbage Pail Kids home when he got off work, to him calling 1800BetsOff on me when i had a problem gambling.

Memories are worth more than money. We will always have memories, while money will run out.  Of course one could argue that Alzheimer patients lose their memory but lets not get technical here.

For many years when i would go watch the 4th of July fireworks, I looked around as people played catch with their kids, or had a mini cookout with their kids, waiting for the fireworks to start.  And for many years i could only imagine what that felt like.

Well yesterday, with my daughter on my lap, the first firework went off..then the next..then the next..  I sat there holding her and feeling her little heartbeat steady rising from the explosions.  Not only did i see the explosions in the sky, but felt an explosion of feelings as I sat there holding here.  This little 6 month hold, feeling secure with her daddy’s arms around her…just one of the many times that she will have this feeling until the day I die.

I had my family take pictues of us because i wanted her to have a keepsake of her first 4th of July fireworks.  I told myself I wanted the pictures for her because she wont have any memory of this when she gets older.  But perhaps the one that needed the memories is not her, but me.  I wanted that memory of holding my daughter for her first firework show. I wanted the memory of wanting something for so long, and finally being able to have it.

I can’t lie..as the explosion of colors lit the night sky, I sat there with my daughter in my arms, with tears in my eyes.  Her eyes fixated on the sky, not knowing that she’s giving her dad the memories he always wanted.