Start of a new Chapter

When my daughter was born, I can remember telling her mom that the hardest part for me was going to be the day she started school. Having to entrust someone with my baby girl. Well, today was that day. Granted, it was only preschool, but the thought of her being out of me and her moms sight, was nerve racking.

As we walked towards the front of the school, I could see on her face that she was a little unsure what was going on. I couldn’t tell if i was holding her hand, or if she was holding mine for comfort. As we walked through the doors numerous kids were scattering around like cockroaches with the light on. She looked up at me as to say “you see this shit?”.

We made our way to her classroom and the teacher welcomed her with open arms. The paraeducator was someone i went to college with, so that was a relief. It’s a bilingual class which i like because she’ll be able to speak spanish unlike me. As her teacher was talking to her in spanish, I just stood there like a deer in headlights.

I walked with my daughter over to the table with little chairs, pulled the chair out for her, and she had a seat. I looked at her as a little boy handed her some of the building blocks. Emotions ran through me. On one hand, here is my little girl, taking a small step forward. On the other hand, I will throat punch one of these little brats if they make my baby cry. Ok, maybe I wont take it that far lol.

I did feel a little better when the teacher texted me a video of Cheech having a snack and smiling. I know that the separation anxiety is going to stick with me until the day I die, I just have to make sure she doesn’t end up paying for it.

Eat a bowl of dicks 2022 Episode 1

My “Eat a bowl of dicks” award goes out to Alexis Avila from New Mexico.

What did Ms. Avila do to deserve such a pristine award you ask? This ignorant bitch put her newborn in a bag and tossed…TOSSED…it into a garbage can outside. Oh, and let me state that the newborn was alive. She literally grabbed the bag out of the car and chucked it into the garbage, got back in and drove off as if it was just last nights dinner being thrown out.

So this twat waffle had a baby, then tossed it into a trash can because she didn’t know how to use protection or swallow. 6 hours later three people were dumpster diving and heard the baby crying and damn near shit themselves when they opened up that bag. Can you imagine how much of a brain fuck that has to be? Your looking for something of value to dig out of the trash and find a goddamn baby. Can’t get much more valuable than that.

The news keeps saying teen mom. Why? This bitch is 18 years old!! A teen mom to me is 13-17. 18 your an adult. Hell, at 17 you can join the military.

This twat told investigators that she didn’t know she was pregnant and the father was a juvenile. She stated that she panicked when she gave birth. Did you panic when YOU THREW YOUR NEWBORN SON IN THE TRASH???

So, one would think, no bond for this twat. Wrong! “At the time the warrant was signed by the judge and the judge signed a $10,000 unsecured bond appearance bond and at that point she was released about an hour later,” Per kfoxtv.

” In 2006 New Mexico legislature passed a law that gives judges the authority to decide if you are a danger to the community or a high-risk defendant. If the judge decides you are a risk for the community, then they can refuse to allow you to be released on bail and will hold you until your trial. It doesn’t matter if you can pay the bail amount in the statute, the judge will use their discretion to detain you without bond.”-fbdlaw.com So yeah, that judge can eat a bowl of dicks too.

Street justice needs to happen.

Just the two of us

Well, actually 5 but for the sake of this blog I’ll just say the two of us.  I’m talking about me and my kick ass little daughter who is 2 1/2 months old.  This little girl is everything I’ve ever wanted in my life. Obviously I couldn’t have this little one by myself, I owe everything to my girlfriend.  For some reason, she figured I’d be a great guy to have a child with and here we are lol. People say that she looks like me, I think she has my eyes and my ears, but she has her moms lips and nose. I can’t wait for her to be able to crawl, walk, and talk but that will come with time.  Right now i’m just taking it all in and loving every minute of it. I look at her and wonder how some parents can purposely do harm to their child? You have this innocent little person who looks to you for food, love, and of course diaper changing. How can you bring yourself to harm them? Shit, she hit her head on my chin and i almost starting crying my damn self cause i felt bad.  I love my little girl more than anything in the world. I would die for her, and best believe, I’d kill to protect her. Untitled-1

2018 the year that changed my life

These past few years have been kinda depressing. One mom had cancer, one had a heart attack, my uncle and grandpa both passed and I got divorced. 2018 though was the year that changed my life and a year that will be close to my heart.  I met by wonderful girlfriend who has brought a smile to my face that I had lost.  She showed me what it was to love again, and love her is what i do.  She not only brought a smile to my face, but she blessed me with a beautiful daughter who was born on 12/19/18.  This little girl, Sophia Kane, is the love of my life and it’s a love that I have never felt before.  I look into my daughters eyes and my heart melts.  Here I am at 39 years old, with my first child. People ask me if im tired already of changing diapers or not getting sleep.  I can honestly say no.  I love every minute of it.  Am I tired?  Sure, but this little person looks at me and I know its my job to protect and care for her.  So now we enter 2019, which is not about me, but about my daughter and my daughters mother.  2019 is about the family that I helped create.

A letter to my unborn child.

Dear ***********

Your mother is in the living room sleeping on the couch because you are making it too uncomfortable for her to sleep on the bed, guess you can say you are already being difficult. I on the other hand, am sitting here in the bedroom thinking how much my life is going to change when you finally come into this world.  I’ve stated before that I started a new chapter in the book of life when I started to date your mother, but you little girl, are going to be a whole new book.  A book that I never thought I would have in my hands.

I sit here wondering what you are going to look like.  We’ve seen ultrasound pictures, but those are just pixels on a piece of paper.  Will you have my eyes?  Will you have your moms’ lips?  Hopefully you have her hair, although your mom has already said she hopes you don’t.

When your mother said she was pregnant, I knew that my life was no longer about me, it was about you.  People have told me that I am going to spoil you, and they’re probably right, but I’m also going to be hard on you.   I’m going to be hard on you because my job is to be your father, not your friend.  You won’t understand that for probably the first 20 years of your life, but you will.

You’re coming into this world with a mom who is going to love and care for you tremendously. I know this because she already does the same with your brother and sister.  Your mom is very chill…as long as you listen. So, my advice to you is to do what your told. Cause honestly, I don’t want to hear your mom yell.

As for the other people in the family, they will love you in their own way. I’m sure your brother and sister will pick on you just as I picked on your aunts.  And I know your grandparents are going to spoil the heck out of you and it’s going to upset me when I tell them no to something and they’ll do it anyways.  But that’s ok, it their job as grandparents.

As for me, your dad.  Well…  I’m going to cheer you on as you take your first steps. I’m going to cheer you on as you ride your bike for the first time without your training wheels.  I’m going to cheer you on when you get stage fright in the school play.  I’m going to cheer you on as you walk to get your diploma.

I’m going to support you when you do a goofy volcano for a science project. I’m going to support you when you choose what career you are going to go to college for. I’m going to support you when you tell me you are in love with your boyfriend…. or girlfriend.

I’m going to love you the moment our eyes meet in the delivery room.  I’m going to love you when you draw on the wall.  I’m going to love you when you don’t get an “A” in math. I’m going to love you when you tell me you hate me as you slam your bedroom door. I’m going to love you when you start to date a boy that I disapprove of.  I know all of this because I love you more than anything in the world right now and we haven’t even met.

Love,

Dad